Some of the most common reasons for therapy are related to romantic relationships. When relationships are marked by mistrust, jealousy, poor communication, frustration, anger, or sadness, one can benefit greatly from professional help to either repair the relationship or find the courage to move on.
Often, romantic relationship problems begin with blaming the other person, “he or she made me feel this way”. This statement has problems – nobody can make you feel anything. People say and do things, and then we react – but we have tremendous power (even though it may not always seem true), to control our emotional response.
The second statement “he or she did this to me” also has deep problems. Melanie Beattie, sums it up perfectly: “People don’t do things ‘to you’. They just ‘do things’.” We often personalize other people’s actions, when the reality is that they would act this way towards anyone, and the reasons for their actions are deeply linked to their past, and have little to do with us!